Why All the Fuss About Age?! It’s Just a Number!

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ِِAge is just a number they say. But when it comes to marriage do we really think about age in that way? For birds, it’s quite simple, “birds of feather flock together” Nobody ever said that only birds of the same age fall for each other. However, for humans, we fall on our faces, regardless of age but it can sometimes cause some serious problems. What makes our choices so messed up sometimes is our constant pursuit of the perfect partner! We create a long list of what we’re looking for in a lifelong partner and then, we start shopping at the single people market. So long to spontaneity!

We grew up listening to many misconceptions about age and marriage, stories and beliefs that are uttered by our parents and the ones that came before them. For example, women are always put under a lot of pressure to find a suitable match as soon as possible and to marry young so they don’t end up as spinsters! They also can’t marry younger men because it’s scandalous, but if they marry a man who’s almost the same age as their father, then it’s not such a big issue. 

Read more: Saying "Yes" to Marriage...a Horror Film or a Romantic Flick?

On the other hand, men also can’t marry older women because it’s considered shameful for older women to marry younger men. In our culture, women need to marry fast so they don’t miss the “marriage train”, but men can take all the time in the world to find their right match and in the meantime, they can build their careers and make lots of money while at it! 

All these misconceptions are strongly embedded in our culture that if anyone decides to act against them, they get strongly criticized, ridiculed, and sometimes even attacked. And that is another reason why we fall on our faces. We give way too much value to what is “supposed” to be done, what is considered normal, and what is culturally acceptable, to the extent that we forget that one only lives once and that people can get their own lives instead of intruding on yours. 

Perhaps it’s normal or considered safer if people of the same age marry from one another, perhaps also, it’s more convenient for the man to be older than his wife. There is no doubt that there is some kind of reason behind these conceptions and that every era has its own cultural norms and values.  However, with time, values and concepts do change and we start realizing that what is considered normal or acceptable is extremely relative. And for that reason, we need to make room for new ideas to take place and for new conceptions to form. We need to believe that age is just a number when it comes to love and marriage!

The most important question we need to ask ourselves is, what are we so scared of? Truth is, time isn’t always on our side and falling in love is never our choice. Love comes our way without any warning signs. Sometimes, it hits us at the right time, the time when we need it the most. So, why fret and overthink? Why make all this insane planning? It all comes down to this: We don’t really need a list of expectations for our future partners! 

Do you love an older woman? love her and marry her! Her soul is what matters, not the number on her ID. Do you love a younger man? That doesn’t make him any less of a man. Did you break off your engagement in your 30s? Don’t fret! the only train you don’t want to miss is the one at the train station! Are you a grandparent who just found their soulmate? Don’t stress about what people would think. Love is never shameful, people are. 

Love and marriage have no age, no rules, and definitely, require no lists. Live the moment, forget the rules that stand in the way of your happiness, forget what people say, and do what you think is right. Don’t fuss! Truly age is just a number

ِِAge is just a number they say. But when it comes to marriage do we really think about age in that way? For birds, it’s quite simple, “birds of feather flock together” Nobody ever said that only birds of the same age fall for each other. However, for humans, we fall on our faces, regardless of age but it can sometimes cause some serious problems. What makes our choices so messed up sometimes is our constant pursuit of the perfect partner! We create a long list of what we’re looking for in a lifelong partner and then, we start shopping at the single people market. So long to spontaneity!

We grew up listening to many misconceptions about age and marriage, stories and beliefs that are uttered by our parents and the ones that came before them. For example, women are always put under a lot of pressure to find a suitable match as soon as possible and to marry young so they don’t end up as spinsters! They also can’t marry younger men because it’s scandalous, but if they marry a man who’s almost the same age as their father, then it’s not such a big issue. 

Read more: Saying "Yes" to Marriage...a Horror Film or a Romantic Flick?

On the other hand, men also can’t marry older women because it’s considered shameful for older women to marry younger men. In our culture, women need to marry fast so they don’t miss the “marriage train”, but men can take all the time in the world to find their right match and in the meantime, they can build their careers and make lots of money while at it! 

All these misconceptions are strongly embedded in our culture that if anyone decides to act against them, they get strongly criticized, ridiculed, and sometimes even attacked. And that is another reason why we fall on our faces. We give way too much value to what is “supposed” to be done, what is considered normal, and what is culturally acceptable, to the extent that we forget that one only lives once and that people can get their own lives instead of intruding on yours. 

Perhaps it’s normal or considered safer if people of the same age marry from one another, perhaps also, it’s more convenient for the man to be older than his wife. There is no doubt that there is some kind of reason behind these conceptions and that every era has its own cultural norms and values.  However, with time, values and concepts do change and we start realizing that what is considered normal or acceptable is extremely relative. And for that reason, we need to make room for new ideas to take place and for new conceptions to form. We need to believe that age is just a number when it comes to love and marriage!

The most important question we need to ask ourselves is, what are we so scared of? Truth is, time isn’t always on our side and falling in love is never our choice. Love comes our way without any warning signs. Sometimes, it hits us at the right time, the time when we need it the most. So, why fret and overthink? Why make all this insane planning? It all comes down to this: We don’t really need a list of expectations for our future partners! 

Do you love an older woman? love her and marry her! Her soul is what matters, not the number on her ID. Do you love a younger man? That doesn’t make him any less of a man. Did you break off your engagement in your 30s? Don’t fret! the only train you don’t want to miss is the one at the train station! Are you a grandparent who just found their soulmate? Don’t stress about what people would think. Love is never shameful, people are. 

Love and marriage have no age, no rules, and definitely, require no lists. Live the moment, forget the rules that stand in the way of your happiness, forget what people say, and do what you think is right. Don’t fuss! Truly age is just a number

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