As the date of your wedding approaches, both your angst and enthusiasm start to surface, as well as your parents’ stress and your in-laws’ unease. This story almost always plays out the same way for several reasons, but more often than not, it’s because of “Love”. Your parents get too psyched that they start compulsively trying to help out with ERRYTHANG. Maybe they sometimes express their enthusiasm in annoying ways that put you off or make you feel like a puppet on a string, but at the end of the day, you know it’s just their ridiculous way of showing love.
This is when our To-Do list comes in!
1- Whenever you feel all the pressure and stress kicking in, run for your life. Nope, it doesn’t make you a coward. If anything, this is the only way to have some time for yourself to think and evaluate situations before instantly reacting or lashing out.
2- Plan a cozy gathering with your partner and invite both your parents and in-laws to join you. This move instantly becomes LIFE when you do it right! Indulge them, make the whole night about them, sweet talk, show gratitude, let them speak, and get the check. Golden rules: Stay out of trouble, avoid arguments, and be the nicest kid any parent has ever birthed, on that night.
Photo by Remon ElMarkiz
3- Have a long and detailed conversation with your partner about the things that you can afford without the interference of your parents and the things that you’re both willing to sacrifice in order for the wheel to keep turning. It’s essential that the parents don’t feel like a portable ATM machine all the time. Be a considerate kid.
4- Don’t cut them out, instead, give out some tasks for them to see to. That way, you keep them both busy AND included!
5- Be bold, be firm, take action, and make decisions. But remember to leave room for their ideas and suggestions. Give them space to speak up because you never know, maybe they’ll come up with something really cool. Parents are weird like that.
6- If you find yourself drowning in a sea of trying to keep your folks at bay, ask some of your other folks to intervene and save your soul. I’m talking aunts, uncles, siblings...you get it.
7- Cutback on assumptions, and whenever you have a question mark hanging over your head or a certain gut feeling about something, talk about it to the other person’s face. Ask them about their intentions, give them a chance to explain, and elaborate on how that made you feel. Keep it together, we know you can handle it. If you do, then they will, too.