Parent's In Law Getting You Down? How To Get Your Way?
January 24, 2021
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Parent's In Law Getting You Down? How To Get Your Way?
By: Farida El Bakry
Parents in law are quite a tricky situation, sometimes you can be blessed with very nice and understanding parents in law, and sometimes they can be a nightmare. We still love them of course, but when we are planning a wedding, or decorating the house, or just getting small day to day tasks done, their advice can sometimes be overbearing, even if they are trying to be helpful. We’ve decided to compile a few helpful tips to make it a bit easier when dealing with your in-laws, but before we begin we have to say, they are only trying to help.
Don't Blame Your Partner
It’s very easy to shift the blame to your partner because of what their parents are doing. Don’t, instead sit together and communicate clearly and calmly why this is not working for you. They are probably aware of their parent’s behaviour but what they are not aware of, is how the behaviour is making you feel and why this isn’t okay. When this is communicated better you can adjust and have a better understanding as how to solve this together.
Set Boundaries
This is going to be a bit harder, but very important and necessary. Setting boundaries is important in a relationship with your in-laws because it creates the understanding that you and your partner are now a united front. Sit together and talk about the things that are okay and the things that are maybe too much. So for example having your parents drop in every other day unannounced might be too much, but visiting them or them coming to visit a set 3 times a week is okay. Work together to see what works for both of you.
Read more: Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting!
Manage Your Expectations
Not all in-laws are exactly how you imagined, and your fantasy of sitting together baking in the kitchen might not come true. That’s fine because in the end of the day that’s life. Adjust your expectations and keep going, don’t hold harbouring feelings because they aren’t what you expected them to be, instead adapt and try to see all the positive traits they have. Also, it’s important to readjust your expectations to the surrounding, so your mother-in-law doesn't bake but she loves to paint? So what your child will enjoy her presence anyway.
Keep Calm, Keep Cool, Be Kind
This is very important especially if things tended to escalate about a certain topic or situation in your lives. Approach it very calmly and cool, and overall try to be the mature person. Yes they are older, and they might be wrong, but remember there is a level of respect you should uphold as they are your partners parents, just like if the tables where turned you’d expect the same. Always remember to be kind as that’s the most important thing when dealing with in-laws or anyone really.
By: Farida El Bakry
Parents in law are quite a tricky situation, sometimes you can be blessed with very nice and understanding parents in law, and sometimes they can be a nightmare. We still love them of course, but when we are planning a wedding, or decorating the house, or just getting small day to day tasks done, their advice can sometimes be overbearing, even if they are trying to be helpful. We’ve decided to compile a few helpful tips to make it a bit easier when dealing with your in-laws, but before we begin we have to say, they are only trying to help.
Don't Blame Your Partner
It’s very easy to shift the blame to your partner because of what their parents are doing. Don’t, instead sit together and communicate clearly and calmly why this is not working for you. They are probably aware of their parent’s behaviour but what they are not aware of, is how the behaviour is making you feel and why this isn’t okay. When this is communicated better you can adjust and have a better understanding as how to solve this together.
Set Boundaries
This is going to be a bit harder, but very important and necessary. Setting boundaries is important in a relationship with your in-laws because it creates the understanding that you and your partner are now a united front. Sit together and talk about the things that are okay and the things that are maybe too much. So for example having your parents drop in every other day unannounced might be too much, but visiting them or them coming to visit a set 3 times a week is okay. Work together to see what works for both of you.
Read more: Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting!
Manage Your Expectations
Not all in-laws are exactly how you imagined, and your fantasy of sitting together baking in the kitchen might not come true. That’s fine because in the end of the day that’s life. Adjust your expectations and keep going, don’t hold harbouring feelings because they aren’t what you expected them to be, instead adapt and try to see all the positive traits they have. Also, it’s important to readjust your expectations to the surrounding, so your mother-in-law doesn't bake but she loves to paint? So what your child will enjoy her presence anyway.
Keep Calm, Keep Cool, Be Kind
This is very important especially if things tended to escalate about a certain topic or situation in your lives. Approach it very calmly and cool, and overall try to be the mature person. Yes they are older, and they might be wrong, but remember there is a level of respect you should uphold as they are your partners parents, just like if the tables where turned you’d expect the same. Always remember to be kind as that’s the most important thing when dealing with in-laws or anyone really.
