How to Deal with Your Mama’s Pre-wedding Anxiety

Code Red: We have a momzilla to deal with

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While you are eagerly announcing the news of your engagement to the people in your life, the mother of the bride is probably busy visualizing her daughter's wedding, for instance, who she will invite, what your dress will look like, and how perfect a choice it is to go for her favorite caterer to handle the wedding. it may sound insane, but it’s the truth. Most mothers go loco when their kid’s about to tie the knot, they stress out as if the wedding is theirs, they unleash the momzilla persona, they act without taking their child’s opinion, they get upset if you don’t take their word into account, and they go mad with their countless demands! 

If you can relate to what you just read above and if you feel like we just described your mama, follow the steps below to learn how to keep your Kraken under control. We’ll teach you how to love her back to her normal state, how to let her in,  and how to share your changing thoughts and decisions with her. 

7 Steps to Follow when Dealing with your Mama’s Pre-wedding Anxiety: 

Photo by Mohamed Atef

1- Why she’s acting the way she is

The most common feeling shared among those who were blessed with intense parents is not knowing why they sometimes act the way they do and why their reactions seem irrational at times. We sometimes do not accept our parent’s actions because of our inability to understand where they’re coming from. The first rule of stress handling is to understand the reason behind such turbulence. You gotta try and understand your mother’s reasoning before anything. 

We always get so lost in treating our parents as droids who are devoid of the most basic characteristics that a human possesses.  We more often than not expect perfection from our parents, so much so that we throw fits when one of them slightly deviates from the script we’ve written for them in our heads. There’s no better time than now to start seeing your mother as a human being who feels, thinks, loves, and gets hurt just as easily as you do. Hence, when your mother decides that she wants to invite her best friends whom you don’t like, to your wedding, it’s important to grasp how big of a deal this is for her and the fact that all she wants is to show the whole world how happy you’re making her. 

2- Let her have a say 

Let her have a say even if you’ve already made up your mind. Consider it a game, a psychological one where you both get your way if you play it right. Trick her into believing that whatever she requests will be met with acceptance. She will most likely criticize most of your choices, from the curtains in your house to your wedding gown.  That’s only but a cry for attention. Discuss things with her, for example, explain to her why you’d rather get porcelain flooring than parquet, listen to the points that she makes because maybe they’re valid. In the end, if she convinces you, that’s a plus but if she doesn’t, let her know the importance of making your own choices with your partner while also always listening to what she has to say. 

Photo by Remon ElMarkiz

3- Sharing is caring

We treat it as a joke when it’s actually very true, sharing shows affection. Share everything with her, send her countless pictures, give her quick updates, show her samples of palettes, listen to her advice, ask for her help while you furnish your home, and include her in all of your wedding preparation details. Remember that she is not an invitee, she’s the reason you are who you are at this very moment. 

4- Give full responsibility

Give the mother of the bride something else to stress over.  Give her a task and allow her to immerse herself in it. There are surely lots of tasks that could be carried out without your direct involvement, like rechecking bookings, making sure that the due payments don’t add up, etc. 

5-Always listen

Always listen even if you are not really listening, you will never know how much it matters to moms until you become one yourself.  Some moms are real chatterboxes,  they just friggin’ love talking! If yours doesn’t fit the type, you’re a blessed soul because most mothers love talking about anything and everything, so listen. Listen to their gossip, advice, criticism, and ranting because that’s the least you could do for them. 

Photo by Mohamed Atef

6-Weekly routine

Whatever traditions you and your mama have, do not suddenly forget all about them. Do not let life and responsibility forget your duty towards the greatest woman that you know. Take her to the movies, take her out to lunch, buy her nice things, and phone her during the day. We all got our thing with our mothers.  Why keep this up? Because parents fear change, they fear that you’d just disappear from their lives after you move out. This is your way of reassuring them that they’ll always be a priority to you. 

7-Instant gratefulness

She is the mother of the bride. Thank her all the time. Thank her for supporting you, for being there, for picking up after you, for fixing your problems, for giving you all her time and attention when you need it. Thank her for being your anchor and your backbone. 

Remember that the reason behind your mama’s uneasiness is the unconditional love she holds for you in her heart. 

Photo by Remon ElMarkiz

 

Edited by Nour Nasreldin

While you are eagerly announcing the news of your engagement to the people in your life, the mother of the bride is probably busy visualizing her daughter's wedding, for instance, who she will invite, what your dress will look like, and how perfect a choice it is to go for her favorite caterer to handle the wedding. it may sound insane, but it’s the truth. Most mothers go loco when their kid’s about to tie the knot, they stress out as if the wedding is theirs, they unleash the momzilla persona, they act without taking their child’s opinion, they get upset if you don’t take their word into account, and they go mad with their countless demands! 

If you can relate to what you just read above and if you feel like we just described your mama, follow the steps below to learn how to keep your Kraken under control. We’ll teach you how to love her back to her normal state, how to let her in,  and how to share your changing thoughts and decisions with her. 

7 Steps to Follow when Dealing with your Mama’s Pre-wedding Anxiety: 

Photo by Mohamed Atef

1- Why she’s acting the way she is

The most common feeling shared among those who were blessed with intense parents is not knowing why they sometimes act the way they do and why their reactions seem irrational at times. We sometimes do not accept our parent’s actions because of our inability to understand where they’re coming from. The first rule of stress handling is to understand the reason behind such turbulence. You gotta try and understand your mother’s reasoning before anything. 

We always get so lost in treating our parents as droids who are devoid of the most basic characteristics that a human possesses.  We more often than not expect perfection from our parents, so much so that we throw fits when one of them slightly deviates from the script we’ve written for them in our heads. There’s no better time than now to start seeing your mother as a human being who feels, thinks, loves, and gets hurt just as easily as you do. Hence, when your mother decides that she wants to invite her best friends whom you don’t like, to your wedding, it’s important to grasp how big of a deal this is for her and the fact that all she wants is to show the whole world how happy you’re making her. 

2- Let her have a say 

Let her have a say even if you’ve already madeup your mind. Consider it a game, a psychological one where you both get your way if you play it right. Trick her into believing that whatever she requests will be met with acceptance. She will most likely criticize most of your choices, from the curtains in your house to your wedding gown.  That’s only but a cry for attention. Discuss things with her, for example, explain to her why you’d rather get porcelain flooring than parquet, listen to the points that she makes because maybe they’re valid. In the end, if she convinces you, that’s a plus but if she doesn’t, let her know the importance of making your own choices with your partner while also always listening to what she has to say. 

Photo by Remon ElMarkiz

3- Sharing is caring

We treat it as a joke when it’s actually very true, sharing shows affection. Share everything with her, send her countless pictures, give her quick updates, show her samples of palettes, listen to her advice, ask for her help while you furnish your home, and include her in all of your wedding preparation details. Remember that she is not an invitee, she’s the reason you are who you are at this very moment. 

4- Give full responsibility

Give the mother of the bride something else to stress over.  Give her a task and allow her to immerse herself in it. There are surely lots of tasks that could be carried out without your direct involvement, like rechecking bookings, making sure that the due payments don’t add up, etc. 

5-Always listen

Always listen even if you are not really listening, you will never know how much it matters to moms until you become one yourself.  Some moms are real chatterboxes,  they just friggin’ love talking! If yours doesn’t fit the type, you’re a blessed soul because most mothers love talking about anything and everything, so listen. Listen to their gossip, advice, criticism, and ranting because that’s the least you could do for them. 

Photo by Mohamed Atef

6-Weekly routine

Whatever traditions you and your mama have, do not suddenly forget all about them. Do not let life and responsibility forget your duty towards the greatest woman that you know. Take her to the movies, take her out to lunch, buy her nice things, and phone her during the day. We all got our thing with our mothers.  Why keep this up? Because parents fear change, they fear that you’d just disappear from their lives after you move out. This is your way of reassuring them that they’ll always be a priority to you. 

7-Instant gratefulness

She is the mother of the bride. Thank her all the time. Thank her for supporting you, for being there, for picking up after you, for fixing your problems, for giving you all her time and attention when you need it. Thank her for being your anchor and your backbone. 

Remember that the reason behind your mama’s uneasiness is the unconditional love she holds for you in her heart. 

Photo by Remon ElMarkiz

 

Edited by Nour Nasreldin

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