How to Choose Your Bridesmaids & Groomsmen

The confusion, the excitement, and the mighty reward.

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Just a decade ago, no Egyptian couple dared follow the western tradition of assigning a specific number of certain friends and family members the position of their bridesmaids and groomsmen, and on top of that, selecting only the finest of the bunch and making them their maid of honor and their best man. But oh, how the times have indeed changed! Nowadays, it’s almost scandalous not to have a set plan of who you’re going to go with as your bridesmaids and groomsmen. As you may know, unless you’ve been living under a rock; wedding season is coming, it’s approaching us and if you pay enough attention, you can almost smell the sweet scent of fondant, layers of lace and panic attacks. 

Photo by Hamed Kamel

Some of you may not know that, but the actual process of choosing who you want as your bridesmaids and groomsmen is beyond hectic! it’s exhausting…it’s draining. And that’s why, if you really don’t woman/man up for this mission, you are going downhill, mate. This is a you-snooze-you-lose kind of situation and you better stay alert. 

In order to help you out and save you from collapsing before your big day, we brought you just a few tips and tricks to up your selection game and really assist you before you sacrifice yourself. Now put your thinking glasses on and scroll down!

Photo by Chronicle Studios

1. Learn the numbers 

First, you got to learn the rules in order to break them whenever you want to. And the rules of the game state that 12 is your limit. Don’t blame me, blame the protocol surrounding the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen that you get to choose. Why does the number matter? Because you wouldn’t, for instance, know if the number of your chosen ones can fit standing by your side at the altar. Plus, you don’t want either side (Yours or your partner’s) to feel unbalanced, if anything you should both strive to agree on a certain number of bridesmaids and groomsmen if you don’t want things to get out of hand. 

Photo by Hamed Kamel

2. Get on with the easy part

Let’s say you have three best friends in your life who mean the world to you, so that automatically brings your chosen number of bridesmaids or groomsmen down by three while also secretly giving you a hand because now you can sit and discuss the situation of who else you’re going to include in your list, with your gang! Trust the ones who know you best, ask for their opinions and listen to what they have to say. What you hear may surprise you. 

Photo by Hamed Kamel

3. Make political sense 

You can’t make everyone happy, but you sure as hell will try to do that on your wedding day without even realizing it. That’s why you need to think about the politics of the situation and that includes blood ties, for example, your parents may have their minds set on your brother as your best man and if it won’t kill you, just agree to it and move on. Another example: Your brother’s wife might think you hate her if you don’t include her in the bridesmaids’ extravaganza. If it won’t hurt, just get it over with. 

4. The call of duty

You need to know the basics, now. First off: The maid of honor is typically responsible for throwing the bridal shower, assisting you in your wedding gown selection, sending out the invitations and basically transforming into your right-hand woman before and on the day of the wedding. The same goes for your best man whose list of responsibilities includes planning the Groom Roast aka Man Shower, which is basically just a bridal shower on steroids. Other responsibilities include holding you (the groom) when you cry and making sure you’re wearing the right cufflinks.

Photo by Remon ElMarkiz

The bridesmaids and groomsmen should be under the maid of honor’s and the best man’s guidance and should be able to offer the bride and groom any kind of assistance if needed, for example: if the bride can’t decide on a color scheme, she should be able to throw a sounding board with all her bridesmaids present and ready to save the situation and if the groom is panicking because he doesn’t know if the parents would be cool with an open bar or not, he, too should be able to call on his little soldiers for some major SOS. Also, you should know that the bridesmaids and groomsmen typically pay for their own dresses, suits and if necessary, their travel expenses. 

5. Pop the question 

Once you’re satisfied with your choices, you should personally go up to each buddy and ask her/him to become your side-kick on your big day. Don’t forget to factor in all the situations and circumstances that might prevent one of them from declining your invitation and don’t be offended if one actually does. Afterall, if you’re not sure how someone may respond to your advances, then they’re probably not even that close enough to you in real life, which is a sign that you shouldn’t ask them in the first place. 

Photo by Chronicle Studios

Just a decade ago, no Egyptian couple dared follow the western tradition of assigning a specific number of certain friends and family members the position of their bridesmaids and groomsmen, and on top of that, selecting only the finest of the bunch and making them their maid of honor and their best man. But oh, how the times have indeed changed! Nowadays, it’s almost scandalous not to have a set plan of who you’re going to go with as your bridesmaids and groomsmen. As you may know, unless you’ve been living under a rock; wedding season is coming, it’s approaching us and if you pay enough attention, you can almost smell the sweet scent of fondant, layers of lace and panic attacks.