9 Deep Questions to Ask Your Spouse Before Saying I Do

Set up your marriage for success

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Although you think you know your significant other, marriage is hard work. With the divorce rate rising over the years, one of the main causes is poor communication skills. This makes or break factor can be exercised and straightened before saying your vows simply by have the right conversations. Asking deep questions during the relationship will filter out the right person for you. 

Many couples get swiped up in the dress train and wedding cake flavors, forgetting to talk about finance, personal values, and lifestyle. Transparency in certain topics will lift many pressures off both your backs and unveils a snippet of your future life. Remember, you will be spending most of your time together. Couples usually dive in into a marriage with rose-tinted glasses thinking their partner will step down to their values down the line to match them. This standoff in many cases resentment, breaking a healthy marriage simply based on an individual’s personal preferences.  Before it gets to that point, here are the top deep questions you should ask you, spouse, before walking down the aisle:

1. Where do you see yourself in 10+ years?

Anything from career goals to life plans. You must inspect how your answers aline or interfere. In 10 years, your whole life and careers will shit. Maybe you’ll find yourself moving away, is that an option for your personal or professional?

2. Do you want kids?

Not only that but how will you raise and discipline your kids? How many kids? Some people simply don’t want kids which might be an understandable deal-breaker to many. How will you divide the child custody if you get divorced? Before assuming that you can change your partners, because you can’t, pop the question. 

questions before saying yes

3. What’s your love languages?

With different personalities come different ways of expressing and receiving love. The 5 love langue simplify these methods into: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. This makes you understand and express your love in a deeper way suitable to your partners love needs. Not only will you’ll make your partner happy, but you’ll also explore your own needs and psychology.

4. How will we deal with each other’s in-laws?

In-laws are stereotypically portrayed in a negative connotation. Whether that’s the case with you or not, marrying a person means you’re part of a new family. A family with its own values and tradition. With that said, where will you and your partner place your boundaries? And will you address broken boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship all around.

5. What will you never tolerate?

Speaking of boundaries, here’s where you find out what’s not acceptable in your relationship. It’s good to set the expectation of what’s not okay for both parties and recognizing when they’re being broken. What do you consider as infidelity? Putting everything on the table gives no excuses for mistreatments.

Read more: 10 of the Strangest Facts about Marriage!

6. How will we handle conflict?

Conflict is bound to happen but while you can’t prevent it, you can prepare for it. Arguments and disagreements will test your communication skills and patience throughout the years. Coming with a problem-solving strategy plan will tame down the blow up and bounce you back quicker. Ask your partner about their anger management and how they deal with heated arguments to act accordingly.

7. Why are we getting married?

This might strike people as a no-brainer, but really why? You might get an answer you weren’t expecting. Society, religion and families put enormous pressure on couples to get married that many simply give into. Think about why you want to commit to this person for the rest of your life.

8. How much alone time do you need?

Spending a lot of time together gets overwhelming even to the most extroverted people. Giving the appropriate alone time gives freedom to reset your mind and come back full of energy. Attachment styles vary and it’s only right to communicate a healthy balance.  

9. Money, money, money!

Last but not least, as uncomfortable and unromantic as it might be, you must discuss finance. Start understanding your partner's debts, budgeting, and spending habits. Finance is one of the leading reasons of conflict and divorce worldwide.  

Although you think you know your significant other, marriage is hard work. With the divorce rate rising over the years, one of the main causes is poor communication skills. This makes or break factor can be exercised and straightened before saying your vows simply by have the right conversations.

Many couples get swiped up in the dress train and wedding cake flavors, forgetting to talk about finance, personal values, and lifestyle. Transparency in certain topics will lift many pressures off both your backs and unveils a snippet of your future life. Remember, you will be spending most of your time together. Couples usually dive in into a marriage with rose-tinted glasses thinking their partner will step down to their values down the line to match them. This standoff in many cases resentment, breaking a healthy marriage simply based on an individual’s personal preferences.  Before it gets to that point, here are the top 9 deep questions you should ask you, spouse, before walking down the aisle:

1. Where do you see yourself in 10+ years?

Anything from career goals to life plans. You must inspect how your answers aline or interfere. In 10 years, your whole life and careers will shit. Maybe you’ll find yourself moving away, is that an option for your personal or professional?

2. Do you want kids?

Not only that but how will you raise and discipline your kids? How many kids? Some people simply don’t want kids which might be an understandable deal-breaker to many. How will you divide the child custody if you get divorced? Before assuming that you can change your partners, because you can’t, pop the question. 

questions before saying yes

3. What’s your love languages?

With different personalities come different ways of expressing and receiving love. The 5 love langue simplify these methods into: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. This makes you understand and express your love in a deeper way suitable to your partners love needs. Not only will you’ll make your partner happy, but you’ll also explore your own needs and psychology.

4. How will we deal with each other’s in-laws?

In-laws are stereotypically portrayed in a negative connotation. Whether that’s the case with you or not, marrying a person means you’re part of a new family. A family with its own values and tradition. With that said, where will you and your partner place your boundaries? And will you address broken boundaries to maintain a healthy relationship all around.

5. What will you never tolerate?

Speaking of boundaries, here’s where you find out what’s not acceptable in your relationship. It’s good to set the expectation of what’s not okay for both parties and recognizing when they’re being broken. What do you consider as infidelity? Putting everything on the table gives no excuses for mistreatments.

Read more: 10 of the Strangest Facts about Marriage!

6. How will we handle conflict?

Conflict is bound to happen but while you can’t prevent it, you can prepare for it. Arguments and disagreements will test your communication skills and patience throughout the years. Coming with a problem-solving strategy plan will tame down the blow up and bounce you back quicker. Ask your partner about their anger management and how they deal with heated arguments to act accordingly.

7. Why are we getting married?

This might strike people as a no-brainer, but really why? You might get an answer you weren’t expecting. Society, religion and families put enormous pressure on couples to get married that many simply give into. Think about why you want to commit to this person for the rest of your life.

8. How much alone time do you need?

Spending a lot of time together gets overwhelming even to the most extroverted people. Giving the appropriate alone time gives freedom to reset your mind and come back full of energy. Attachment styles vary and it’s only right to communicate a healthy balance.  

9. Money, money, money!

Last but not least, as uncomfortable and unromantic as it might be, you must discuss finance. Start understanding your partner's debts, budgeting, and spending habits. Finance is one of the leading reasons of conflict and divorce worldwide.  

Wedding Planning is a piece of cake with Weds360. We know what matters most and you can count on us every step of the way.

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