Imagine waking up anxious every day about facing the piles of dishes in your sink or the mountain of dirty laundry in your bathroom. Having to come home to a messy house is no fun either. Then comes the part where you start fighting over whose turn it is to take out the trash or prepare dinner. One fight leads to another and soon, you’ll find yourselves holding grudges and unable to stand one another.
Setting basic household rules might just be the thing that spares you the arguments and misunderstandings that could start creeping into your lives if you’re not careful. Learn to accommodate each other and to create a generally healthy attitude for your household. Learn to agree to disagree. Here are 20 rules on how to create a safe and loving environment for your home from day one.
1.You are equal:
Always remember that you are equal human beings. It doesn’t matter who works or who doesn’t, what kind of careers you have, how much money you make, or how valuable your possessions are. If you decide on becoming one entity for life, then you must never make your partner feel inferior to you in any way, even when you’re having your nastiest fights.
2. It takes two to tango:
On another note, you both must contribute and make effort for your household and relationship to flourish. There is no such thing as only one party doing all the work even if they happen to work fewer hours. It’s a partnership that involves both of you and no one else!
3. Adjust your biological clocks:
Adjust both your biological clocks to meet at some point so you can do more things together throughout the day. It’s enough that each of you is probably over consumed with work and have very little time to spend together.
4. Spend quality time:
Choose a day during the week where you get to spend quality time together either at home or outside. For example, you could arrange regular movie nights or romantic dates to keep the spark and excitement alive.
5. Divide chores:
Set basic rules for your household chores together and divide the work according to your working hours. Decide on how you will be able to contribute.
6. Get an extra hand:
If one or both of you have a fully packed schedule, it’s best to try to get an extra hand to help with the housework. The frequency of the helper’s visits will depend on the amount of work that needs to be done and also, on your budget.
You both will start understanding and forming your own sanitation rules for your home after living with each other for a while. These rules are very important for the house to stay clean and organized without exerting too much effort trying to keep it clean all the time. For example, picking up your dirty clothes off the floor, washing the dishes you use, and cleaning up after finishing a meal are all but minor details that can help a great deal in lessening the efforts and energies.
8. Fighting rules:
Every couple fights, it’s a rule of nature. However, no matter how frequent you fight or argue, you must have rules and limits to it. For instance, no name calling, no abusive language, no silent treatment, and no ignoring the other person. If anything, these rules should be there to keep things from getting ugly.
9. Decision making:
Part of having a stable household and building a trust system is learning to discuss and make important decisions together at all times. You have both got to let go of your egos and your stubbornness in order to make way for a much more open, understanding, and truly satisfying environment.
10. Money management:
Decide from the beginning how you are going to manage your finances. Set your monthly budget plan and decide how the household bills will be settled between the two of you.
11. Receiving house guests:
Have mutual agreements on receiving house guests, be it friends, family, or acquaintances. Respect each other’s privacy and check in on one another before inviting people over.
12. Limit technology:
As long as you are both at home, give your screens a break. It’s your free time; you should spend as much of it together and not with your faces stuck to your phones. Don’t let technology replace the connection between the two of you.
13. Eating habits:
Try to agree on the type of food you will eat and start exploring cooking together. Encourage each other to start eating healthy and set certain limits to junk food entering your house.
Are you having a “What happens in our house stays in our house” kind of rule? or are you leaving it casual? You need to discuss how private or open you’re willing to be about what happens in your household, depending, of course, on the topic and the person you confide in.
15. Don’t keep score:
Marriage could be many things but it is definitely not a competition! Don’t keep score and hold things against each other regarding who did or didn’t do what. Keep the balance in your relationship while understanding that things aren’t always fifty-fifty. Support each other through the highs and lows.
Always talk about your feelings and don’t keep your emotions locked inside you. If you argue often, talk things through, and don’t wait until you become fed up of each other. Always communicate and talk about what works for you and what doesn’t.